My Weightloss battle

I want to put this out there I don’t care who reads it or if nobody reads it but at least I let out what I want to say to myself or to others. My story Weightloss wise is different to most because I was the skinny one size 6-8 I am only 5foot and I was tiny I was always like this I never put on weight no matter what I did and even through teens I was pretty active not working out I mean like doing daily things. I have a Italian background and Italians are known to eat a lot that’s not a bad thing but I have never been the type to eat everything I see I don’t know if I just had a small stomach I just never liked to eat in general. I started to develope a Coca Cola habit in my late teens and I drank a lot of it however the habit only went for a year or 2 until I went Tinto the stage where I was turning 18 I wanted to go clubbing and I felt fat I have up Coca Cola completely cold turkey from 3ltrs a day to just completely drinking water no soft drink at all I cut out all take away and I didn’t eat anything that would be acidy. I lost a ton weight infact I was hitting 45kg I was fine though I was actually very happy I could move around I was just healthy besides very low iron. HAD 2 still was tiny still was size 8 the day I gave birth to my first son I put my size 6 jeans back on the ladies couldn’t believe I just had a baby? Anyway moving on to now 4 years ago I hit a low why? I was with a guy for 7 years we shared the world together and he broke me because he left me for another chick I can’t remember why and I don’t know why. This is when I started the typical revenge body stage thinking he was coming back again I lost lots of weight the photo you see me In shorts was my revenge body because he used to call me fat. Moving forward to right now 4 years on it’s like everything in the past hit me like a tornado because I’m fat now for my height I’m actually classed as morbid obese how bad is that? I’m short so it shows I have had in going battles with mental health for the past 4 years and no I’m not ashamed I don’t care what people say about that? I went from being healthy and fit to very large and very sick I have a lot of medical issues caused by my weight but by other things to and 4 years ago I also started anti depressants which causes weight gain to. I have a barrier now and it’s not moving I refuse to go In public unless I have to. I won’t do daily photos because I no longer feel confrbale about myself. I want to be the way I was but I don’t have that thing that says yes you can do it I know I can I did it before but this year and last year traumatised me so badly I can’t even live a normal life anymore I don’t even know how tot all to people anymore. If you think you have problems well I do to I think we all do but most don’t share I am a open person I am a open book I want people to know me and who I am I don’t like to lie or be fake and show offf someone I am not or what you expect me to be. I have tried every diet in the book even my own little recipes here and there and I hate food I have so many stomach issues now I wish I didn’t have to eat but I need to obviously to live. The point of this is don’t think you know me when you don’t there is so so so much people don’t know I may look all good In thousands of my old photos but I post them so I can look back and try to movtivate myself I don’t idolise fake Instagram models or people from magazines I use myself because I have done this before everyone’s different everyone’s got there own battles and I don’t wish it upon anyone I want to share more stories like this with everyone and I wish others would start doing the same social media is turning so fake. All though I’m not happy with myself right now despite if others are I one day wish to motivate and ecoiurage others to and be some sort of role model to others. I know I can be a bit crae sometimes but I’m human and I have feelings don’t we all? I might start my blog again or even start to write a book about my life in general that certainly has not been easy with a permanent disability I want to be the person people follow on social media and look up to I can do this in given time if you give me a chance and if u read all this your a legend

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