I feel jinxed

I have been wanting to write this for so long but I just keep putting it off mainly because I’m worried about what people may think about it or think I’m crazy. Let me explain I personally believe I am jinxed because ever since I was born I have had non stop bad luck in my life literally…. nothing ever ever goes right for me and the days when I stay positive and try to do positive things well the storms comes of course and then something bad will happen that same day and that positivity or luck is gone. It’s so so hard to explain and I do wish I could explain this better. I have been sick my entire life Illness after illness then hydrocheplous which is a long term life threatening disease… then was born with arthritis on top of that which you can imagine how painful that is right? I suffered my entire child hood and I couldn’t do what everyone else could as a child. All my boyfriends in the past treated me badly weather it would be cheating or abuse etc. it was like a never ending cycle. One day when I was younger I can’t remember how old I was to be honest but I know I was at lest over 10years old at the time I was sitting outside the market with my cousin and where waiting for our parents to come back out and I remember Seeing these 2 goth girls who where adults or much older teens… only looked cause I was young and was scared to be honest on how they looked but I obviously ment to harm at all by looking… anyway they caught us looking and came over to us and she was being really rude all though we where young and I temper she pointed at me and said I curse you I thought nothing of it to be honest but it’s such a clear memory I’ll never forget… I’m not saying she cursed me but the more and more I think about it my luck got worse and worse and nothing ever happened or still happens to me it’s like I’m permanently jinxed or cursed or whatever…. the more and more I got older the worse luck I had like my mum walked out on me when I was 14 then my parents got divorced … then I got in another abbusive relationship that now gives me ptsd… I had 2 kids who unfortunately where to dead beat dads I have tried to make numerous businesses at home because I can’t work due to my disability and not one has ever worked out for me despite endless hours and money put into it while I sit back and watch everyone else around me have a successful business…. iv never had a trustworthy friend ever not even when I was young I have been treated badly by almost anyone who’s been in my life iv never had a friend who I can call a actual friend which is sad knowing I’m 34 and never had a friend? I have problem after problem with numerous people I don’t even know constant drama I don’t even create from people and it basically never ends….. I’m pretty sure I’ll be stuck like this for whatever life I have left but I don’t like the way things are and I’m not really sure how to fix or go about this situation of being jinxed or cursed…. I do actually believe that lady did something some how and it worked I do believe in the power of which craft and spiritual things so I might have been in the wrong place at the wrong time? I wonder if anyone else can actually relate to my story because it’s hard to believe but it’s scary to live

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